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Can't Get There From Here

by The Gobblers

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1.
Ballad of the Upwardly Mobile 03:28
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I left as a young man my fortune to seek I tried every road can’t get there from here I worked in the city worked in the town I won and I lost but never got near Tried getting back home I wallowed and roamed I tried every road can’t get there from here I followed the highway valleys and hills I tried every road but never got near I asked at the greyhound ticket window the clerk she said no can’t get there from here can’t get there from here can’t get there from here I tried every road can’t get there from here Which way do I turn? Which stream do I cross? Don’t matter the route, can’t get there from here can’t get there from here can’t get there from here i tried every road can’t get there from here
2.
Connie Sinclair 03:30
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Now this here’s my story about a waitress so fine, she had long red nails and could sight in a .45. Broke the heart of a trucker like a lamppost in the night, I’d go in for supper when I’d already dined Hush all you dogs, as we sing our tale raise our good ol' Christian voices let our feelings laid bare If the wind through the walls calms down here for a spell, bet you’ll hear our sorry love song for Connie Sinclair Her voice was like a spring breeze in the hills of Jericho Her eyes like two lilies where the alfalfa blows She’d list me the specials, and wait till i chose a pie I’d tip half my paycheck, and drive off in the night Hush all you dogs, as we sing our tale raise our good ol' Christian voices let our feelings laid bare If the wind through the walls calms down here for a spell, bet you’ll hear our sorry love song for Connie Sinclair Connie Sinclair, sweet Connie Sinclair, Rode away with a banker with an nose ring and pink hair Connie Sinclair, sweet Connie Sinclair, I love you in my memory sweet Connie Sinclair
3.
Talkin' Small Town Newspaper Blues 01:46
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Dave: You seen the Press Enterprise today? A.W.: Naw, what happened? Dave: Well, let me tellya… Now it said on page one, above the fold in a great big headline, black and bold how this here farmer, he went to some shindig and when he come home, he’d lost a pig. A.W.: He lost a pig? Dave: “FARMER LOSES PIG” it said. A.W.: Now where abouts was this? Dave: Out along Route 42, up passed Gobbler’s Knob. A.W.: Aw, you must mean ol’ Billy Gresh. Heck, that aint news. Greshy never could keep them pigs. Dave: Well, Pastor Gregory, he quit the cloth he told his congregation off He said, Here’s no way to make a buck I’m better off working, driving truck. A.W.: Yessir, I seen Pastor Gregory up’ere at Buckhorn Truckstop, eatin' cookies and milk. Dave: Now what did he have to say for himself? A.W.: He said, son, I’m takin' communion. Dave: Well some Millville boys went into Bloom one night and seen these college kids, got in a fight 'cuz one of 'em yelled, This town here’s the only town and we don’t want none of you hicks around. A.W.: Well, at least we aint from Unityville. Dave: Or Benton. A.W.: All you ever read about’s crime and drugs. Dave: You heard about that incident over in Elysburg? A.W.: Naw! Dave: Happened right in front of Woolcock's while I was fillin' up. Well this Amish guy rides out in 'is horse and buggy when some kid from Nescopeck tries to mug ‘im. Amish says, take what I got, I can’t lie this here buggy’s fulla whoopee pies. A.W.: All them Amish girls bake goooooood whoopee pies. Dave: Aw, get outta here with that talk!
4.
Turkey in the Straw 02:45
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When I was a boy, I was sent to Iraq And I lost two limbs, but I half came back. On the Fourth of July, I’ll be riding on the float tween the Stars and Stripes and an old Nanny Goat Turkey in the straw, hey haw haw Turkey in the hay, hey hey hey Roll em up and twist em up a high tuckahaw Strut to a tune called turkey in the straw Over in Flint where the water’s full of lead And the factories are closed and the people all are dead Well I got a sarsaparilla from a gentleman from FEMA And it tastes real fine, though they bottle it in China Turkey, &c. A’plowing my field, I was covered in mud Till I looked just like a brown fella would And I rode into town and forgot to freshen up So I got pulled over and was beaten by a cop Turkey, &c. Well I scroll Facebook when I’m bored at work And I like my friends and I block all the jerks And I surf all day, just a’clickin every link And I stay plugged in, so I never have to think Turkey, &c. Well I hate my boss and I hate my wife And I hate the news and I hate my life And I got no church nor a union hall But at least I can strut to a turkey in the straw Turkey, &c.
5.
Snakeskin Blues 02:19
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Something in my fridge is smelling bad Something in my fridge is smelling bad Something in my fridge is smelling bad, bad, bad I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good There’s a tax lein on my trailer I can’t pay There’s a tax lein on my trailer I can’t pay There’s a tax lien on my trailer and my carburetor's broke so I sit out on my porch and drink a beer There’s a snakeskin on the pillow where you lay There’s a snakeskin on the pillow where you lay There’s a snakeskin on the pillow where you lay your sleepin’ head He shed it on the night you run away. I need a bigger Dropbox for my file I need a bigger Dropbox for my file I need a bigger Dropbox to heal my broken heart I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good Why can’t they just repeal Obamacare? Why can’t they just repeal Obamacare? Why can’t those no-good congressmen repeal Obamacare? And keep their hands off of my Medicaid Things aint the way that they’re supposed to be Things aint the way that they’re supposed to be Things aint the way that they’re supposed to be, oh, lord I sure wish you'd come home and stay for good I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good, good, good cuz something in my fridge is smelling bad
6.
Irreplaceable (Beyoncé Parody) 02:43
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To the left, to the left To the left, to the left To the left, to the left Everything you own in the box to the left In the closet that's my stuff, yes If I bought it please don't touch Keep talking that mess, that's fine But could you walk and talk at the same time? And it's my mine name that is on that Jag So remove your bag, let me call you a cab Standing on my front porch telling me How I'm such a fool, talking about How I'll never ever find a girl like you You got me twisted You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I could have another you in a minute Matter fact she'll be here in a minute, baby You must not know 'bout me You must not know 'bout me I could have another you by tomorrow Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' your irreplaceable So since I'm not your everything How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you Baby I won't shed a tear for you I won't lose a wink of sleep Because the truth of the matter Is replacing you is so easy

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released November 25, 2018

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The Gobblers Nashville, Tennessee

Dance-folk

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