1. |
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I left as a young man
my fortune to seek
I tried every road
can’t get there from here
I worked in the city
worked in the town
I won and I lost
but never got near
Tried getting back home
I wallowed and roamed
I tried every road
can’t get there from here
I followed the highway
valleys and hills
I tried every road
but never got near
I asked at the greyhound
ticket window
the clerk she said no
can’t get there from here
can’t get there from here
can’t get there from here
I tried every road
can’t get there from here
Which way do I turn?
Which stream do I cross?
Don’t matter the route,
can’t get there from here
can’t get there from here
can’t get there from here
i tried every road
can’t get there from here
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2. |
Connie Sinclair
03:30
|
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Now this here’s my story about a waitress so fine,
she had long red nails and could sight in a .45.
Broke the heart of a trucker
like a lamppost in the night,
I’d go in for supper
when I’d already dined
Hush all you dogs, as we sing our tale
raise our good ol' Christian voices
let our feelings laid bare
If the wind through the walls
calms down here for a spell,
bet you’ll hear our
sorry love song
for Connie Sinclair
Her voice was like a spring breeze in the hills of Jericho
Her eyes like two lilies where the alfalfa blows
She’d list me the specials, and wait till i chose a pie
I’d tip half my paycheck, and drive off in the night
Hush all you dogs, as we sing our tale
raise our good ol' Christian voices
let our feelings laid bare
If the wind through the walls
calms down here for a spell,
bet you’ll hear our
sorry love song
for Connie Sinclair
Connie Sinclair, sweet Connie Sinclair,
Rode away with a banker
with an nose ring and pink hair
Connie Sinclair, sweet Connie Sinclair,
I love you in my memory
sweet Connie Sinclair
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3. |
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Dave: You seen the Press Enterprise today?
A.W.: Naw, what happened?
Dave: Well, let me tellya…
Now it said on page one, above the fold
in a great big headline, black and bold
how this here farmer, he went to some shindig
and when he come home, he’d lost a pig.
A.W.: He lost a pig?
Dave: “FARMER LOSES PIG” it said.
A.W.: Now where abouts was this?
Dave: Out along Route 42, up passed Gobbler’s Knob.
A.W.: Aw, you must mean ol’ Billy Gresh. Heck, that aint news. Greshy never could keep them pigs.
Dave: Well, Pastor Gregory, he quit the cloth
he told his congregation off
He said, Here’s no way to make a buck
I’m better off working, driving truck.
A.W.: Yessir, I seen Pastor Gregory up’ere at Buckhorn Truckstop, eatin' cookies and milk.
Dave: Now what did he have to say for himself?
A.W.: He said, son, I’m takin' communion.
Dave: Well some Millville boys went into Bloom one night
and seen these college kids, got in a fight
'cuz one of 'em yelled, This town here’s the only town
and we don’t want none of you hicks around.
A.W.: Well, at least we aint from Unityville.
Dave: Or Benton.
A.W.: All you ever read about’s crime and drugs.
Dave: You heard about that incident over in Elysburg?
A.W.: Naw!
Dave: Happened right in front of Woolcock's while I was fillin' up.
Well this Amish guy rides out in 'is horse and buggy
when some kid from Nescopeck tries to mug ‘im.
Amish says, take what I got, I can’t lie
this here buggy’s fulla whoopee pies.
A.W.: All them Amish girls bake goooooood whoopee pies.
Dave: Aw, get outta here with that talk!
|
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4. |
Turkey in the Straw
02:45
|
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When I was a boy, I was sent to Iraq
And I lost two limbs, but I half came back.
On the Fourth of July, I’ll be riding on the float
tween the Stars and Stripes and an old Nanny Goat
Turkey in the straw, hey haw haw
Turkey in the hay, hey hey hey
Roll em up and twist em up a high tuckahaw
Strut to a tune called turkey in the straw
Over in Flint where the water’s full of lead
And the factories are closed and the people all are dead
Well I got a sarsaparilla from a gentleman from FEMA
And it tastes real fine, though they bottle it in China
Turkey, &c.
A’plowing my field, I was covered in mud
Till I looked just like a brown fella would
And I rode into town and forgot to freshen up
So I got pulled over and was beaten by a cop
Turkey, &c.
Well I scroll Facebook when I’m bored at work
And I like my friends and I block all the jerks
And I surf all day, just a’clickin every link
And I stay plugged in, so I never have to think
Turkey, &c.
Well I hate my boss and I hate my wife
And I hate the news and I hate my life
And I got no church nor a union hall
But at least I can strut to a turkey in the straw
Turkey, &c.
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5. |
Snakeskin Blues
02:19
|
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Something in my fridge is smelling bad
Something in my fridge is smelling bad
Something in my fridge is smelling bad, bad, bad
I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good
There’s a tax lein on my trailer I can’t pay
There’s a tax lein on my trailer I can’t pay
There’s a tax lien on my trailer and my carburetor's broke
so I sit out on my porch and drink a beer
There’s a snakeskin on the pillow where you lay
There’s a snakeskin on the pillow where you lay
There’s a snakeskin on the pillow where you lay your sleepin’ head
He shed it on the night you run away.
I need a bigger Dropbox for my file
I need a bigger Dropbox for my file
I need a bigger Dropbox to heal my broken heart
I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good
Why can’t they just repeal Obamacare?
Why can’t they just repeal Obamacare?
Why can’t those no-good congressmen repeal Obamacare?
And keep their hands off of my Medicaid
Things aint the way that they’re supposed to be
Things aint the way that they’re supposed to be
Things aint the way that they’re supposed to be, oh, lord
I sure wish you'd come home and stay for good
I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good
I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good
I sure wish you’d come home and stay for good, good, good
cuz something in my fridge is smelling bad
|
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6. |
||||
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff, yes
If I bought it please don't touch
Keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time?
And it's my mine name that is on that Jag
So remove your bag, let me call you a cab
Standing on my front porch telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a girl like you
You got me twisted
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact she'll be here in a minute, baby
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' your irreplaceable
So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you
Baby I won't shed a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Because the truth of the matter
Is replacing you is so easy
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